If I believed I was agirl, then I was free of these never-ending sources of unhappiness andguilt.I felt a rising joy in my chest. I was Tracy's girl bitch. I filled aniche in the world of girldom as Tracy's bitch. It's my place and Isuddenly felt proud and happy that I now knew and accepted my role. I sawthat Tracy was in the bathroom putting on her makeup and I said,spontaneously, "Oh, Tracy, I am so happy that I'm your girl bitch. I soappreciate that you let me serve you. I totally agree that I could neverbe your boyfriend. I'm not even a boy!"Tracy stared at me as if she were thinking what she ought to say. Maybeshe was trying to sense if I was being sarcastic or not, but then I sawthe corners of her mouth turn up into that kind of smile that she hassometimes and I knew that she knew that I was dead serious. "I believeyou, Greg."***The girls assembled in Tracy's bedroom to put the last touches on theirmakeup and hair and to compare notes on what to expect that night. Tracysaid, "I. When I started to talk to her, all I got was a mumbled reply. I knew that our mum was not due in for an hour or so, so perhaps."Sis," I whispered, "can you hear me." Mmm," she mumbled."Mel," I said, "NOW listen to me, you are lying on an empty beach with the warm sun caressing your body. You can hear the waves gently rolling in and out," I recite the litany I had learned."Every time the waves roll out you feel more and more relaxed, you can still hear my voice, but you are feeling more and more sleepy."I carried on like this for a few minutes until I think she was safely under."Mel can you hear my voice?" I asked."Yes," she whispered."Mel, you CAN only hear my voice, and you WILL obey all my instructions." I said, emphasising the important words."Yes," she whispers again.Oh my God I had done it, what to do now, my mind went blank. So after a few seconds of panic, I decided to give myself some time to think."Mel whenever you hear my voice say 'sleep sister sleep' you will return to.
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